The call often comes from the wife who has discovered her husband looking at porn on the internet. Sometimes it comes from a husband who is desparate to save his marriage after he has been discovered.
Both men and women are suseptable to sex addiction, but men are five times more likely to develop the problem. The secular position on viewing pornography is that it is a normal activity for men and all men do it. That contrasts with the Christian view based on the Bible where Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-28 "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. NKJV So, viewing porn is adultery of the heart and is the first step on the slippery slope of actual adultery.
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF ADDICTION TO PORN OR SEX ADDICTION?
Here are twelve signs a man may be addicted to porn:
- You have lost interest in sex with your wife.
- You are a healthy man but unable maintain an erection during sex with your wife.
- Your sexual tastes have changed as related to your wife.
- You spend an excessive amount of time online.
- You are texting and perhaps sexting women you do not really know.
- You have joined at least one "dating" site online and maybe paid for it.
- You erase the history on all of your electronic devices almost every day.
- You seem emotionally “distant” or withdrawn from your wife.
- You seem more antisocial to others.
- Your financial patterns have changed.
- You have become secretive, evasive, or defensive to your wife.
- You have become critical of your wife’s appearance.
WHAT CAN COUNSELING DO?
Counseling can help you overcome your addiction to online porn and help you repair your marriage. It may help you restore your integrity and trust with your wife. Counseling can also help a betrayed wife appropriately deal with her trauma. A counselor can connect a husband and wife with support groups that provide accountability, education, and understanding on your journey to recovery.